I may have said ‘young people’ in the title, obviously because there’s that famous stage in life we all associate with immaturity, inexperience and rebellion. However, these common selfish sayings are popular among adults too and will often be seen as signs of childishness, immaturity, and a lack of proper judgement. Now these statements can be quite healthy in certain circumstances and when said thoughtfully in a certain way (the best being taking into consideration the other person’s reasons and following your statement with a proper explanation). Parents or teachers (even concerned strangers) are a symbol of authority and they are expected to guide your behavior and help you shape into that amazing, responsible and wise adult when your time comes. Alright let’s dig in already.
IT’S MY LIFE
We’ve all heard this one. Children, teenagers and university students love it. Nickelodeon, Disney productions and Hollyweird (as ‘conspiracy theorists’ love to call it lately) make sure to feature this in almost every movie and music production. It is said usually when a young person is involved in something harmful, inappropriate or not suitable for their age like dating too early, being disobedient to authority at school or home, sneaking out to go clubbing, doing drugs and the like. Yes, it is your life and no you cannot do everything and anything you want with it. We all have rights and maybe you already know yours but have you heard of something called responsibilities? If we all carried this rotten attitude around then don’t you think the world would be a stinky place to live in? What makes this more selfish is that you think it is your life when you are doing whatever you want to do and you don’t like it when anyone says anything against it—what you don’t realise is your irresponsible actions hurt the people around you because they love you and guess who you will be running to for help when things turn bad?—the same people you don’t want to listen to. Now try answering this silently: why should I care to bail you out of jail or to foot your medical bills when you told me countless times to ‘back off’ because you partying with your friends instead of going to school and doing drugs underage was ‘your life’ anyway—why then don’t you bail yourself out and foot your own hospital bills? After-all ‘It’s Your Life’, right?
DON’T JUDGE ME
This is one ignorant but common phrase. Lately this immature statement is thrown all over the place by almost everyone and usually appears like a quote from the Bible even by those who claim not to believe in God or the Bible. First off, from a biblical standpoint it’s clearly said out of its proper context because guess what—the bible never uses soft language on any form of wrongdoing and there are so many times when healthy ‘rebuking or correction’ is done and encouraged plus we are told to point out ‘sin’ (help others see that what they are doing is wrong and in this way save them from its repercussions). Of course, this is an overly simplified interpretation but it is so we all get on the same page. Yes, we are also told to be mindful of our own behavior or misbehaviour so that we don’t appear to be hypocrites telling someone else what they are doing is wrong yet secretly we are doing the same thing. That aside—this statement shows someone that hates being advised, can’t stand correction, wants to hear what they want to hear, and is yes—very immature in their reasoning and how they view the world around them. By the way, no one has to ‘judge you’ because when you engage in wrongdoing, guess what?—you are already ‘judging yourself’. Go ahead and check the same bible and you will find this too. When you use this statement, you kind of ‘shut up’ those people who care about you and it is rude, insensitive and unloving.
I DON’T CARE
I used to and still like that TLC song ‘Waterfalls’ (you should try watching the video and pay attention to the lyrics). There’s a young man who lives with his single mom. He makes a habit of sleeping around and worsens the situation by never using protection. His mother is obviously heartbroken each time she tries to talk to him out of this yet he trashes her advice and goes out anyway (It’s His Life and why should she or anyone Judge Him?). Well, it is not long before this handsome young man finds out he’s totally screwed up and now he is infected with HIV/AIDS. At this point, he can sit down and remember everything his mother told him about. He can tell how much love there was every time he thought she was just shouting and nagging and all. Life is not the same anymore and it is too late to turn back the clock. There are many stories out there and you don’t have to be one of them. Using the words ‘I Don’t Care’ shows how little you value yourself, how little you love yourself, how you are being selfish to your own self. Physics will tell you that to every action there is an opposite reaction and life will prove to you that to every action, decision, inaction there are consequences some of which can damage and haunt you for life or even cut your life short, too short. So, it is high time, you actually started to care and in turn appreciate those who care for you.
I HATE YOU
Let’s talk about self-love again, shall we? ‘I Hate You’ is common among children who feel they can’t stand their parents or those who just pretend not to just so they can get away with something. Yes, this hurts the person you say it to. It’s not just you saying I Hate You, it is you saying so many hurtful and unfair things in those 3 little painful words ( I reject you, I cannot stand you, you are worthless, you don’t deserve my love or friendship or acceptance, you are nothing, you probably shouldn’t even be alive,….). This statement hurts. But here is the most painful thing. The person you say this too will most of the time start to give you space and with time they will let you be and will go on living their lives because guess what?—their world actually doesn’t revolve around you, they have friends, work, things and people that remind them they are worthy, appreciated and loved. Back here, you go around carrying all that hate and bitterness and rage and like someone carrying acid, the only person it consumes and burns is you. You gain nothing and you lose everything when you embark on such a hateful journey. You push people away and no one wants to be around someone with such a toxic attitude. Sooner or later you will feel lonely and isolated and shamelessly blame it on the rest of the world but yourself when truth is you got yourself on the little Misery island you’re on when you pushed caring and good people far from you and out of your life. With all this hatred, the world keeps spinning and you end up losing.
Take a few quiet minutes to let all this sink in and remember times when you have said things like these or carried around such attitudes. Reflect on what your actions were (are) and what came out of it. Think honestly of whether the results made you happy with yourself and whether there is anything you could have changed or tried communicating differently now that you can look back. In the meantime, there may be thousands of hurtful and selfish things young people say but these are some of what we will discuss in our next article so maybe you can think around them in case you or someone you know has or is using them lately or plans to use them: ‘I Hate School’, ‘You Can’t Tell Me That’, ‘You Ain’t My Mom (or Dad)’, ‘I Won’t Do It’, ‘I am Not You’, and ‘You Don’t Understand Me’.